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"Syrian Children More Bomb Resistant Than Originally Anticipated" Announces US defence Secretary

Writer: Kent AndrewsKent Andrews

The US secretary of defence recently announced that Syrian Children have been "More Bomb Resistant Than Originally Expected" in a recent press interview regarding the ongoing drone strikes.


The secretary is one of only five or six civilians—the others being the president, the three "service secretaries" (the secretary of the Army, secretary of the Navy, and secretary of the Air Force), and the secretary of homeland security (when the United States Coast Guard is under the United States Department of Homeland Security and has not been transferred to the Department of the Navy under the Department of Defense)—authorised to act as convening authority in the military justice system for General Courts-Martial


The strikes were carried out by the forces of the United States, the United Kingdom, and France[56] and were delivered by ship-launched, submarine-launched and airborne cruise missiles.[57] All of the missiles launched by British and French forces were variants of the Storm Shadow missile, known as SCALP EG and Missile de Croisière Naval (MdCN for Naval Cruise Missile) in French service.


Secretary of Defence is a statutory office, and the general provision in 10 U.S.C. § 113 provides that its occupant has "authority, direction and control over the Department of Defence", and is further designated by the same statute as "the principal assistant to the President in all matters relating to the Department of Defence".[10] To ensure civilian control of the military, no one may be appointed as the secretary of defence within seven years of serving as a commissioned officer of a regular (i.e., non-reserve) component of an armed force.[11]





As the head of DoD, all officials, employees and service members are "under" the secretary of defense. Some of those high-ranking officials, civil and military (outside of OSD and the Joint Staff) are: the secretary of the Army, secretary of the Navy, and secretary of the Air Force, Army chief of staff, commandant of the Marine Corps, chief of naval operations, and Air Force chief of staff, chief of the National Guard Bureau and the combatant commanders of the Combatant Commands. All of these high-ranking positions, civil and military, require Senate confirmation.

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for legal reasons this article is a joke

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